The Space In-Between

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What becomes of the feelings that manifest in between the sifting and sorting of decisions? I wonder about the activity and energies inside our brains when decisions particularly emotional ones are being processed and ultimately filtered down into the right one at that particular time. Not to dive deep into psychology; There comes a time in our lives when we’ve elevated ourselves enough to be granted opportunities. The one side of the opportunity can be success; while the other side can be failure or fear. The power to choose one way or the other rests solely with us. This article is focusing on that middle ground—the space between the unknown or not yet discovered success, and the overwhelming fear of failure presented by that opportunity. 

We know this because our emotions communicates this dilemma explicitly; when we explore the upside of the opportunity it feels amazing, inspiring and joyful. However; when we explore the downside of the opportunity, if we have the guts to go there, it feels terrible. Surely there are lobbying elements, beyond us (both physically and spiritually) that present us with emotions and thoughts for one way or the other when we exercise critical thinking in decision making. 

I’ve recently come across an amazing opportunity in my life where I’ve realized that the spotlight has been cast on me. And I feel very afraid. Being a Christian woman; I know that Jesus found moments in his life where he was also very afraid. The temptation of the cross being one of those moments where he asks in Luke 23 for “this cup to be removed from me.” At the same time, the humiliation and excruciation of the cross has always been his destiny—and he overcomes it!

Temptation overwhelms us! However, I’m coming to believe that the fight is often greater than what we realize. We choose the narrow and hard path because it leads us to our destiny. Jesus is a perfect example of human form conquering temptation to arrive at destiny and purpose– particularly on the cross. My self-imposed “opportunity” that is now scarring me to the core, is my own narrow path to my destiny and purpose. I must confess that I was stuck in the space between running with this opportunity and recusing myself from it for a long while. But God being purposeful as He always is; He makes “destiny opportunities” difficult to turn back from. I am alluding to the spotlight because I was driven by something bigger than myself to begin a big project that I had every intention of implementing, even though I was never clear how? I managed to gather everyone into the idea and as the pieces are now strategically coming together into a beautiful mosaic answering the how; I feel terrified. I am seeing that it was never I who cast this spotlight upon myself; in my humanness I could never have imposed such difficulty on myself. However, stepping away from this opportunity doesn’t seem to be an option that I want either.  The success of this opportunity makes the lives of the residents of the City of Johannesburg Metropolitan area so much better! And I want that. In this space, between going forward and retracting, I discovered who God is in my life.

I have come to understand ‘the space in between’ as God’s Divine Pause lobbying us to follow His will in our lives. It is realizing that we are lead and guided by purpose that is not yet clearly defined in us. It’s a leap of faith; it’s destined, and it is okay to follow it.

About Thando Tshabalala

South Africa, for the first time since the dawn of democracy in 1994 has seen tremendous political instability that has translated into poor economic outlook and a looming junk status rating from the ratings agencies. My country’s political turmoil is calling me to act and affect change in the most meaningful way I know how. I have worked in the local government space for the past eight years of my life and have seen too many discrepancies against the poor, irregular spending, corruption and fraud. I have also seen great politicians that put their hearts on line every day for betterment of their communities. I want to introduce New Church views into everyday lives of my fellow country men and women. The New Church way makes a great deal of sense to me—not only because I was born and bred in the New Church: enjoying the writings and the doctrines all my life; but because I sincerely Believe. Working in government has allowed me an understanding that personal development is the only way to real economic and spiritual freedom. Real conversations about the current economic conditions in South Africa cannot and should not take place within government structures only. It is going to take really special people to affect change in South Africa, true patriots that really care about the future and the economy of our country.

One thought on “The Space In-Between”

  1. Thando, thank you for this! I, too, feel often in that space as I work on projects (the space where I don’t want to go back/not do the task in front of me for growth, but where I also can’t yet see how it’s possible, and I feel fear of the unknown outside and inside myself), but you have turned it around so I am thinking of the Lord in that in-between place, seeing Him in that breathless pause before the work of a new opportunity begins…

    Reading your article reminded me of a beautiful quote on my wall in my workroom, that my Mama gave me: ‘While a man is in some study and business, that is, in some use, his mind is limited and circumscribed as by a circle, within which is it successively coordinated into a form truly human’. Conjugial Love 249.

    When we step ahead into that our new endeavour, there is a peace and safety in performing that use…as the quotation describes (even a tiny step ahead!). All the best with your new project!

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