Have you ever asked yourself who you are? You might be an amalgam of so many constructs that you are finding difficulty in locating your ‘real self’. Or you might find that you have become a stereotype that you no longer find valid –  a member of a clique, a group, a tribe that practices ‘groupthink’ and pressures you into following its precepts. You might find at times that you have become a caricature of who you set out to be and are deeply dissatisfied with certain aspects of your being. Your discomfort is better than self-satisfaction, which is often a sign of complacency, when rigorous introspection and self-examination would be more appropriate. Perhaps you feel that you have taken the wrong fork in the road and would like to retrace your steps. We all make mistakes, and in learning from them, we achieve growth, with the Lord’s help. In that we are blessed. We have a reprieve so readily at hand that we will be amazed.  The Lord has promised: 

Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11: 28-30

By renewing our vow to become a child of God we are given clear signposts to forge a new identity. We can follow Psalm One in overcoming scorn for those who are unlike us; we can release our love for others in practicing the Golden Rule. We can obey the Ten Commandments with a new intensity when we work on those that we find difficult to follow. We can try to measure up to the rigours of the Sermon on the Mount in ‘doing good to those who despitefully use us’. We can try, knowing that ‘the truth will set us free’, to become the best possible version of ourselves. Instead of living in a reactive haze, we can become liberated, proactive, and protected to the core of our being. We can invite the innocence of wisdom by willing ourselves to be obedient to the truths that are anchored in good.  We are promised that we can be as joyful as children in becoming who we are meant to be in the Divine Design. 

I remember looking at magazines as a child and looking at two very similar pictures and being asked to find the differences in the image. Maybe children today aren’t given as many magazines, but a quick search tells me that there are still lots of apps and games that have these same ideas.

From a young age we are encouraged to look for the differences. Circle or click on the ways these things differ. Emphasize what makes them unique. This one has a cloud. That one is missing a fence post.

There is nothing wrong with being unique. There is a children’s book called The World Needs Who You Were Made To Be. And it talks about all the special qualities people bring to the world. The world does need people with different skill sets. It would not be useful if everybody wanted to be a fireman when they grew up. The world needs variety, and people performing different uses. Indeed, heaven is made up of infinite variety! It couldn’t be heaven without it!

“The angels of any one heaven are not together in one place, but are divided into larger and smaller societies in accordance with the differences of the good of love and faith in which they are, those who are in like good forming one society. Goods in the heavens are in infinite variety, and every single angel is as his own good.” (Heaven and Hell 41)

In New Church education remains is a sort of buzzword amongst teachers, parents, and ministers. There are entire books written on the importance of remains and education. I invite you to consider whether educators or any people for that matter, actually contribute to remains being implanted. If the answer is yes, how can teachers ensure they are giving their students the best access to remains? If the answer is no, and it is the Lord alone who gives us remains, why is this topic so heavily emphasized in discussions of New Church education? 

Let’s start by discarding some common misconceptions about remains or remnants. Some people think that remains are simply good memories preserved from our childhood such as a warm hug from a parent, dancing in the rain, the sun on a warm summer day. Though these are nice ideas and happy memories they don’t really encapsulate what remains are. Remains are far more than good memories, they are “…everything good and true that the Lord insinuates into man from infancy even to the end of his life” (Arcana Coelestia 2280:1). We can see from this that remains are not limited to childhood, in fact later in this passage it is explained that the best remains are the ones we receive as adults. This teaching is not included to undermine the importance of childhood remains but to remind us that they are the foundation for better future remains. 

“Mom, when I grow up, I want to be just like you: NOTHING.” I remember saying this when I was a young girl. (If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you might recall my relating this in another article, earlier this year.) Many people’s eyes widen in disbelief when I relate this story to them, but I quickly reassure them – and you – that those simple words didn’t mean that I thought she was a nobody, that I didn’t respect her or that I wanted to grow up just to stay home and watch television and eat candies all day. I was expressing the desires of my heart: not be be a career woman, but to be a MOM, just like her. I’m so fortunate to have had the opportunity to do that! I’d wanted more kids than just one, but I’m blessed to have the one I’ve got and to have been able – ‘allowed’ – to stay home with him throughout his childhood and now into his teenage years. I joke these days about the fact that I’m a stay-at-home mom but that my charge is in school! I still relish being a home-maker, filling my days with a variety of activities from taking care of my family to volunteering my time in different ways, among other odds-and-ends endeavours. I feel ‘retired’ before my time, and I’m loving it.

Not having a career or even a defined regular routine, however, sets me up for deep frustration and discouragement sometimes: I call it ‘Homemaker’s Syndrome’. I do so much and yet feel like I accomplish so little. I fill my days with busy-ness and yet have ‘nothing’ to show for it. Reflecting on my daily life, I know, intellectually, that I provide invaluable service, but it doesn’t feel like it, in my heart. Those times are so demoralising.