My sister recently had her first baby and it was deeply powerful watching a younger sibling step into that new role of mother. The birth of a baby is inevitably miraculous–how could it not be? But when it’s also the birth of loved ones into parents, I found that to be so much more powerful and inspiring than I was expecting. 

Watching my sister and brother-in-law go from expecting parents to parents in reality, and seeing the love for this new tiny person blossom into something tangible and tender and primal and beautiful–it’s just profound. And it brings me back to the way the Lord is looking at us, loving us, celebrating and marveling at each new development and state. He loves each new baby indescribably more than their new adoring parents do. He already loved the parents that way. Their joy at this new phase of life is a tiny drop in the pool of the Lord’s pleasure at our joy, and at the birth of a new angel in potential. 

It’s hard for me to grasp how much the Lord loves me, loves all of us. But the thing that brings me the closest to understanding is witnessing and experiencing the love of parents for their children. I’m sure I’m not alone there. 

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.” (Jeremiah 1:5)

The first article I ever wrote for New Christian Woman was entitled, “Teething.” It described my first experience comforting a child who was cutting new molars and how it helped me understand a little better just how much the Lord loves us and wishes to ease our pain. The toddler who was the inspiration for that article is now in kindergarten and has her first loose tooth. I must have blinked.

This milestone has left me feeling more nostalgic than I would have expected. After all, it’s just a tooth. It’s not like she’s leaving for college or getting married or even getting her ears pierced. But I got a little choked up when I saw that tiny tooth wiggling precariously in my daughter’s mouth. A piece of her is about to be gone. Her body is finished with it and making room for a bigger tooth. This is how it’s supposed to work. 

And as silly as it is, my child’s dental development has once again nudged me into looking a little deeper at how this mini milestone correlates to our spiritual growth. I guess the Lord prompts us to muse over important things in unexpected ways.

Baby teeth seem almost pointless. We have them for such a tiny fraction of our lives – why bother with them at all?  But no part of our design is an accident. Not only do baby teeth help us chew our first solid foods, they also serve as placeholders. They ensure that our mouths have enough room for the adult teeth to eventually grow. 

My household has undergone many ups and downs since the lockdown started.  For us in South Africa, the country went into lockdown in early April, but life had been disrupted for several weeks even before that. School and normal family routines were all thrown into the air.  I’ve tried several versions of new routines: some where I just let the kids do whatever they wanted, some where I was scheduling and managing every hour.  I’ve continued to change and juggle the routine as life continues changing – sometimes on what feels like a daily basis! But one of the things that has come out of all this is a new routine of reading the Bible with my kids.

As a family reading the Bible has always been at least an occasional part of our routine.  But in the last few years with school taking up more time as the kids moved from pre-primary to primary and even now senior primary grades, our time at home to do additional study has fallen away.  And while I know they are reading the Bible at school I am not in that routine with them.  But since the lockdown and having the kids at home we began to read daily together, and I have been amazed again and again by the experience.  

My kids all enjoy reading, so I wasn’t really surprised to find them excited at the idea of reading together.  But what I have been surprised by is their ability to read even some of the stranger or more violent parts of the Bible and then follow up with insightful and useful discussions.  We spent June reading through Revelation as we led up to New Church Day on June 19th.  We have several picture books which helped to give a more concrete understandings of some of the stranger creatures and scenes described.  But each day my kids were eager to read more, to understand more, to find passages they recognized, and to discuss the strange beasts and the terrifying plagues.  I remember reading through Revelation as a child and feeling confused but enjoying it, but I don’t remember expressing the enthusiasm my kids regularly share with me.  

When I decided to make daily Bible reading a part of our routine I expected the kids to hesitate or whine.  But I have been thoroughly enjoying my time to connect with them and watch their enjoyment as they find new Bible stories to wonder over or light up as they read a verse or a story they’ve learned about before.  It is an experience that I’m already holding on to as a bright spot in these stormy times.

I think that it is easy to always be waiting for the next thing to come along. Finishing school, getting a new home, getting married, having a baby, having another baby, getting that promotion, getting a new job, vacation, quarantine to be over.

It is good to look forward to things. We need to be working toward goals and accomplishing things, but it is too easy to get sucked into not enjoying the present. It’s easy to put off things until something changes. It is easy to choose to be inactive until the right circumstances arise. In those situations, I have found that waiting can be interminable.

Everyone has heard the phrase, “The grass is always greener on the other side.” And I know this is something I fall into believing. There will always be something around the next bend if it will only get here!

It is easy to look at the lives people present on social media and wish that our own life looked more like that. It is easy to look at people who are in quarantine together and covet their lives, covet their swimming pool, covet their opportunities. If you look for it, someone out there is probably having more fun than you are, especially if that is your attitude. I fall into this trap constantly. “If only ___, I would be happier.” But when I am able to pause and reflect on my own blessings, and actually appreciate the good things in my life, I don’t have to be comparing myself to others or waiting for something better to come along.

Someone once pointed out to me that the New Church is the only church that isn’t waiting for something. We are not waiting for judgment day. We are not waiting for the second coming. We are not waiting for answers. We have it all, and we should be so lucky! Yes, I know that doesn’t mean we are perfect, or have absorbed all that the Lord has to offer, but it does mean that we don’t have to wait for anything in order to start.

But waiting is easier; expecting something to change in order for things to get better. But is it comforting to believe that the Lord is going to show up in person and fix everything? Maybe a little bit, but it is also intimidating. I think that it is much more comforting to realize that He has given us all the tools we need right now. He is always with us, always leading us, and never absent. 

For every smallest fraction of a moment of a person’s life entails a chain of consequences extending into eternity. Indeed every one is like a new beginning to those that follow, and so every single moment of the life both of his understanding and of his will is a new beginning. And since the Lord foresaw from eternity what man was going to be like in the future and even into eternity it is clear that providence is present in the smallest individual things, and, as has been stated, is governing him and diverting him so that he may be such, this being achieved by constant re-shaping of his freedom. ( Arcana Coelestia 3854)

The Lord gave us the tools to be happy right now. And when I pause and reflect on the fact that I was born into a family who knew about these truths, who cared about them and raised me in them; when I pause to reflect that I have access to these truths in the Heavenly Doctrine, I realize that I am actually much happier to have the life that I have, and not desire someone else’s advantages.

Someone once said to me, “Be happy where you are, or you’ll never be happy.” And this idea has stayed with me. If I am not allowing myself to find the happiness now, I will never be able to find the happiness in life. Happiness can be found now, because the Lord is always present, always wishing to be with us, and wanting us to be happy. No matter where we are, He is going to be present, and if we choose it, we can be happy now.